I read a blog today that was brutally honest about the reasons that people have trouble with fat loss (hint: it's not a glandular problem or because they weren't held enough as children). See that blog here:
http://strengthcoachtaylor.ca/uncategorized/the-brutally-honest-6-reasons-you-are-still-overfat/
Reading that blog made me want to elaborate on a point that I made the other day in a client meeting - IT SHOULD NOT BE 'WEIRD' TO EAT HEALTHY FOOD.
No one wants to feel like a weirdo.
One look or snide comment can send us back to middle school being ostracized by the cool kids lunch table. In fact, we spend a lot of time just trying to blend in. We follow fashion (raise your hand if you said you'd never wear skinny jeans and you now have 3 pairs), get our hair cut like celebrities (you swore off bangs, too, but then Katie Holmes happened)- I could go on. Our attempts to blend in certainly extend farther than how we dress or cut our hair - and as a trainer, I know that this definitely applies to our plates. Unfortunately, since the 'typical' American diet is garbage with a side of refuse topped with rubbage - eating lettuce has become taboo (and, as a result of these social norms, we have gotten fatter and fatter and fatter).
You would think that I would get a pass on 'plate judging', since the expectation is for me [as a trainer] to be strong, healthy, and lean, but I can't tell you the number of times someone has turned their nose up at my salad, egg whites, oatmeal, or protein shakes. I can't count all the times that eyes have rolled when I order my dressing on the side or I double the veggies with my meal instead of eating bread or mashed potatoes. Interestingly, most of the time the snide comments, disapproving glances, and eye rolling comes from people who have told me they 'want' to lose weight.
Beyond 'plate judging', we are also in a world where junk food is everywhere - every checkout in almost every store is stocked with sugary nonsense, tempting you at 4pm when the low blood sugar demons take over. Earlier today, a friend told me that 'some jerk' brought Girl Scout cookies in to work. Every social event seems to be organized around food and drinks. Every accomplishment, big or small, is celebrated with cake/ice cream/cookies. No, no one expects you to celebrate your retirement with a big plate of broccoli, but can't we find some other way to celebrate?
How do you get success with fat loss when the cards are stacked against you? You need to have two important things in your favor: social support and defined goals.
Having friends with similar goals is very, very helpful. They are likely to order healthy food when you're out to eat. Even if they choose to indulge, they are less likely to judge your plate and more likely to give you an 'atta girl' for fighting the good fight. Hanging out with like-minded friends might not always center around food, either. Maybe you meet up to take a fitness class or go for a walk instead. Or, my favorite middle of the road option- COFFEE.
Having familial support is another key in making a permanent change. Eating tilapia while your husband and kids eat curly fries is NOT sustainable. I'm lucky to have a husband who loves my cooking and has the desire to be around and be healthy for the length of our relationship.
Actually, strike that. I'm not lucky. I'm smart. I wouldn't have married a person who didn't give a f*ck about their health because it's too important to me. I just can't understand having a spouse who doesn't care about their health. Moreover, I wouldn't be married to a person who doesn't give a shit about our kids' health. Don't even get me started about chicken nuggets. I just can't.
If you don't have support at home, the road to weight loss will be like trying to do a 12-step program during spring break in Cancun. Not technically impossible.. but pretty damned close. YOU need to be the change.
The reality is that, even with social support, we don't live on the Biggest Loser ranch. You aren't in a bubble with other weight-loss focused folks in an environment where failure is actually almost impossible. Real life is the opposite. You are going to have to make sacrifices and hard decisions. Life isn't easy. You have to give a f*ck - all the time.
That's where defining goals comes into play. When you are working toward a goal - let's say saving up for a car - it's easy to see what works toward your goal and what works against it. For example, you need to save up $200/mo for a year to have a decent downpayment. Buying a latte everyday would take away from the savings for the car [$5/day x 30 days = $150], where brewing your own coffee would help you save. Weight loss can be looked at in the same way. Define the goal to determine what behaviors work toward and against the goal. Working out = good. 14 beers at a Superbowl party = bad.
What I've learned over the years is that it is much easier to change your own mindset than than to change the attitude of everyone around you. Your health is important- all the time. That means getting over the glances, eye rolls, and comments from people who don't want what you want, or who don't have the will to achieve it (and that's MOST of the people in this country, unfortunately). More than getting over these comments, stop using them as an excuse as to why you 'can't' lose weight. YOU CAN. No one gets a free pass. Bottom line- if you want to be a healthy, fit person, you have to behave like one.
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